Rip Them Off

Rip Them Off is a minimalistic new puzzle game of economic management and tower defense. The Board needs its profit, and it’s up to you to line the streets with shops the masses can’t resist. Choose your locations, pick your stores and earn enough to advance up the corporate ladder with its increasingly difficult challenges!

Welcome [New Hire Name Here]. We’re proud¹ to have you as the newest member² of our [Product Name Here] sales team. Here at [Subsidiary Company Name Here] we’re passionately committed to [Vague Passionate Commitment Here] and we know you are too³.

Here at [Company Name] we’re all about giving the people what they want, and what they want is [Product Name] (the ad boys have seen to that!⁴).

As a valuable member of our [Company] family⁵ this is where you come in.

1 Any assertion of pride is purely performative and does not reflect the Board’s opinion of individual employees
2 Unless otherwise stated new employees shall be referred to as “Office Drone”
3 Please see Standard Employee Contract section 11b Subsection 12: “Your New Personal Opinions”
4 Any suggestion of consumer manipulation by [Company Name] advertising practices is purely hypothetical
5 [Company Name] is a registered corporation and not a familial unit. Please see Employee Contract section 154a, “Knowing Your {Lack Of} Rights”